Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
