Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
where are my eyebrows?
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