Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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