I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm both gender and math confused
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
