it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
