we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
