I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
