idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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