Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
is it fun? or sober?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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