tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
