So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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