I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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