I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
