your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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