Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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