her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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