I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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