We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
