i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
