I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
