i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
