Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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