I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
