Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
