yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize