He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
