I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
