bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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