And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
