my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
