That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
