He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
