i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
