Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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