Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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