are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
