I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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