question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
