Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
