Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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