He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
