You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
