Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
