Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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