trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's official drugs can't kill me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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