I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
