I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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