As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
