..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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