Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Still dying that you shit outside
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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