About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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