I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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