the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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