I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
