Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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