Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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