i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
