Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
